What you can't have
by merethebear
Summary: Casey realizes she cant have Derek and for more than him just being her step-brother. What happens when that reason is Emily? Is Derek just using Emily like before? Or does he really like her? Casey is in denial and with good reason.
1. Emily?

"_Where was Emily?" _Casey asked herself as she stood at her locker looking around the hall. It was the first day back after Christmas break and she couldn't find her anywhere.

Down the hall she saw Derek flirting with some random girl, "_Typical Derek." _she thought with a roll of her eyes. She looked again, then she noticed that he wasn't flirting with just any random girl.

It was Emily!? Casey hadn't seen Emily all Christmas break and now Emily had come back looking different, really different. For one thing, her hair was straight. Casey loved her curly hair and would trade her own hair for it. Although it might look a little funny. Second her clothes were more colorful. There was nothing wrong with that, in fact many times Casey tried to tell Emily to dress a little more crazy. But what she was wearing now, well it didn't look like the Emily she used to know. She realized that she was staring when Noel came up behind her and said,

"BOO!" she jumped and turned.

"Hey Noel, how was your Christmas break?" she asked trying to get the image of her best friend flirting with her step-brother out of her mind. I mean she knew Emily liked him but she had to wander if the change was _for_ him.

"Well besides spending most of it with you?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Oh, yeah forgot." she said looking down at her feet. In Noels mind him and Casey were pretty much dating. In Casey's mind they weren't. Although she did like Noel, but right now she needed a friend more than a boyfriend. She looked over at Derek and Emily again.

"_Yeah, I really need a friend." _she thought shaking her head.

"You okay, Case?" he asked with a smile.

" Sure, I'm fine." she said with a plastic grin on her face. They started to walk to class. Why was it bothering her so much to see Emily and Derek flirt, which they were still doing by the way. Emily had her head back laughing and Derek had a smile, not a smirk, a smile on his face. His smiles were rare but when you saw them you felt like you could fly. Well that's how Casey felt on those rare occasions.

"_But its only cuz it means that he isn't mad at me. And I hate it when he is mad." _she thought denying the facts.

"_And why is that you think?" _asked the little voice in the back of her head.

"_I'm not listening." _she thought as she started to talk to Noel about little random things. Anything to keep her mind off of them.

The lunch bell rang and everyone rushed out of the classroom to the cafeteria. It was, after all, taco day and they had the best tacos as cafeteria food comes. When Casey got her food she looked around to find Noel. She kind of wanted to avoid Emily for today. But then she saw Emily waving her down to come sit next to her and "_Derek?"_

" _Why is she sitting with him?" _she asked herself but whatever she doesn't care. She walked over to the table with her head high and her shoulders back.

"Hey Casey. Will you sit with us?" Emily asked her.

"Um sure." Emily smiled and Casey took that as her cue to smile back.

"Hey Sam," she said with a smile, "Derek" her voice going monotone to show she didn't care that he was there.

"Hey Casey, how was your Christmas break?" Sam asked, then took a really big bite out of his taco.

"She spent most of it with that loser, Nick, or something like that." Derek replied. "Noel." Casey said looking down at her food.

"Yea him, while my Christmas break was spent with Emily." he said as he put an arm around her.

"_WHAT? Emily had spent the whole Christmas break with Derek and she didn't tell me? Why didn't she tell me? Does she not trust me?" _she was suddenly jerked out of her thoughts when Emily says.

"Oh yeah, Casey I forgot to tell you about us." She moves her finger between her and Derek. "_Forgot? How do you forget something like that?" _she wanted to yell at her, but figured it wasn't the right place.

Instead "You two are dating?" came out of her mouth, more of a yell then a question.

"Yea!" the look in Emily's eyes was a tragic thing for Casey to see. Her friend was so happy and Casey wanted to break something. To many emotions where rushing through Casey right now, but she found a smile somewhere in there and put it on.

"Well, if your happy." she said to Emily. But she would talk to them both later, because no way was she going to let Emily get her heart broken by Derek.

After lunch, Emily walked up to Casey and said " I cant believe how well you took that. I thought I was going to get a lecture from you."

"Well about that, you know I think your to good for Derek. And you know what Derek does to girls. And also I don't think you should have changed your image for him."

"Ug, I knew it. Casey for once I'm happy with someone and have been for two weeks, which is another reason why I didn't want to tell you. Because if we had gone on one date and it was a horrible then I didn't want to tell you cuz I knew you would be mad at Derek. But now I know that what ever you say you wont make me stop liking him."

"What?" Casey said, slightly confused. "That didn't make much sense."

" I know but what I'm trying to say is can you just be happy for me? I have liked Derek for a really long time now and he finally likes me! How rare is that?" Emily asked.

"I don't know, but your right I should be glad. Although I still don't think Derek is good enough for you and I don't agree on you changing for him." Casey replied still extremely angry but you couldn't hear it in her voice.

"Yea, I know and I'm glad you care about me getting hurt. But I won't, even Derek told me that I was different." she said glad Casey understood. Or so she thought.

Casey wanted to tell Emily how she hear Derek tell every girl that but she didn't. she bite her tongue and she knew she was going to have to pick up her best friend in a couple of days when Derek dumps her.

When she gets home she is going to talk to Derek. _"Wait, should I, what if Derek tells Emily that I don't trust him. Well she knows I don't trust him, but she will be mad that I bothered him about their relationship. Then when Derek dumps her, cuz I knows he will, Emily will blame me for bugging Derek about it. Crap" _she though putting a hand to her temple. "_I better go see Paul." _

Casey knocked on Paul's door and then walked in without waiting for an invitation.

"Ah, Casey how was your-" he began.

"Drop the small talk Paul I have a huge problem." The look on Paul's face was a "No Duh." look but Casey didn't notice. She continued.

"So say your best friend-" "Emily" Paul interrupted her.

"Yeah, so Emily likes a guy-" "Derek?" he did it again.

"No." Casey spits back with too much acid in her tone.

"But I thought Emily liked-" he was cut off.

"Just listen, Emily likes a guy and the guy likes her back. But what happens if, well what if." Casey paused. What was she going to say? What happens if she likes him too? This is Derek. She made a face just at the thought alone.

"What happens if?" he asked "Casey?"

"If I think she is to good for him" she replied quickly convincing herself that, that was what she was going to say.

"Well, is she really to good for him? Or do you just not want her to get hurt?" he asked.

"Both" she said "_And there's another reason." _said the little voice.

"_I told you to go away!" _Casey screamed in her mind. The voice went back to its little corner.

"What do you think you should say to her?"

She didn't know. That you think you might like him? No! even that thought discussed her, she couldn't tell Emily that. She would have to fake it.

Fake it till she stopped liking Derek and started really did approve of them dating. Even the words "liking" and "Derek" being in the same sentence sent a shiver down her spine.

"Thanks Paul. I think I know what I'm going to do." she got up to leave.

Paul just sat at his desk with a big smile on.

"I'm so good" he whispered to himself. Casey heard him and just rolled her eyes.

When Casey got home she found Derek and Edwin watching a some stupid cartoon. Derek yelled sarcastically "So how was your first day back? Have any suspires? Get a lot of homework?" She ignored him and went straight in to the kitchen to find her mom.

"Hey honey, how was your first day back?" Nora asked. Casey wanted to tell her everything but knew that soon Derek would tell the family he was dating Emily. And Casey didn't want to risk her mom finding out that… "_Well maybe I don't like Derek, maybe I'm just mad at him for liking my best friend." _but she decided to lie to her mom anyway.

"Great! It was so good seeing everyone again. Well I got a lot of homework better go." she said. Every word was a lie. They hadn't even gotten homework. She had gotten so good a lying from living in the same house as Derek that even her mom couldn't tell.

When she got to her room she laid down on her bed. She had to figure out why she thought she liked Derek.

"_I mean come on Casey, think about he is your step-brother. You don't like him, you are just starting to love him like family." _she thought. Yea, that was it. Oh it was so clear now, that's why she cared. She could hear the little voice shaking its head, but she didn't really care what it said now. Her thought wandered and she decided to take a nap. Gosh, did she need one, it had been a long day.

"Casey, wake up. Its time for dinner." Lizzie said lightly shaking her shoulders.

"What time is it?" Casey asked rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"Um," Lizzie looked around trying to find the clock when she failed she said "Dinner time?" Casey just laughed.

As she came down stairs she remembered what had happened that day. "_Dang it, I wish it had been a dream." _she thought as the smell off food drifted to her nose. Her tummy rumbled. She said down at her seat. Normally she would help her mom get ready for dinner but today had been crazy.

"What's for dinner?" Edwin asked running down the stairs taking two at a time. Apparently he had smelted the aroma too. He was followed by Marti, who was followed by Derek. She looked down as Nora came in with the food in hand.

"Who's hungry? She asked obviously knowing the answer. They all sat down and started to eat.

"Could you pass me the rolls?" Casey asked Edwin. Derek grabbed a roll and handed it to her. "Ew! Gross, you don't pick one up, your supposed to give me the whole basket." she replied. "_Did he have no manners?"_

"Oops" he said as he took the roll and bite into it. Even as he chewed you could see the smirk on his face.

"So, kids how was your first day back?" George asked. Edwin began but Derek cut him off.

"I got a girlfriend." he said staring right at Casey. "_Was he just using Emily to get on my nerves like last time?" _she thought.

"Oh really, shocker." Edwin replied still upset that Derek cut him off. Derek glared at Edwin. " I mean really who?"

"Emily, our neighbor." he said with a smile. Casey floated for a little bit looking at that smile. Then felt with a thump when she realize that she should say something rude back. Then remember she had to fake it so Emily would stay happy she tried to think of something nice.

"_Ug, to many rules to follow!" _she thought.

"Yea they make a cute couple although, Emily is way to good for you." she thought that would be good enough. Happy for them yet still showing what she thought.

"Well, I'm glad you approve spacey. Now my life is content." He put a hand to his chest and shook his head and pretend to whip away a tear.

"Just don't hurt her!" she yelled at her. Well maybe this will be easy after all.

"Oh, don't worry. I wont." he said. Casey didn't know if she should believe him or not.

Then he smiled at her "I won't." her heart fluttered and she reminded herself that it was because she loved him like a brother. Nothing more. "_Or maybe this wont be so easy." _


	2. Noel?

Casey pounded on the bathroom door. Yesterday had been stressful enough, now she was going to late because "DEREK!" she yelled, won't get out of the shower.

"Just think of it this way," Derek said as he came out of the bathroom. "I am teaching you patients" he patted her on the head,

" You could use some." He smirked at her and left. As she was getting ready to get in the shower she heard a light knock. Quickly rapping the towel around her,

"Yes?" she asked. Derek walked in. 'why did I leave the door unlocked?' she thought.

"I forgot these." he said picking up his pair of shoes, that for some reason were in the bathroom. Just before Derek was about to leave he turned and said

"Gosh Casey, you should really put some clothes on, Nora won't let you go to school like that." he smirked and then quickly left know he would be beaten on.

"DEREK!" she screamed through the now locked door. She got in the shower thinking about how stupid he was.

Casey walked to the passenger side of the car, Derek gave her a look.

"What?"

"Emily is sitting there," his voice had a hint of mocking in it. Casey looked at him stunned for a second then said "Oh, okay" biting her tongue as hard as she could. She slipped in to the backseat and buckled up. Emily walk around to the side of the car supporting her 'new look'. Casey was almost positive the change was for Derek. Emily hopped in and gave Derek a light peck on the check. Derek swiftly grabbed her head and started to kiss her on the mouth. Casey watched as Emily hungrily ate Derek's face. Casey cough, as if to say, 'Hello, I'm right here.' Casey saw Derek's eyes quickly glance at her then he closed them again, so fast she didn't know if she really saw it. Apparently Emily hadn't heard her. Her stomach twisted with, anger. No, she wasn't anger, her chest suddenly growled as if it were alive.

"Hello!" she finally said aloud. They broke apart quickly, Emily looking embarrassed, Derek looking pleased with himself.

"Oh my gosh, Case, I'm so sorry I didn't know you were back there." Emily said shocked. She wanted to yell at Derek for making out with Emily while he knew she was in there. But she calmly took a breathe and said,

"Ok, I'm happy for you and all but that was disgusting." she hated lying to her friend, well at least half of it was true. Emily giggled and they started talking about random things, Derek occasionally blurting in. Casey kept reminding herself that she had to keep acting like she was okay with this, at least until she found out why Derek was really dating Emily. There could always be the fact that he just really like Emily. And along the way he would rub it in Casey face. Well, what ever the reason Derek was doing it, Casey was going to find out.

When they got to the school Casey didn't know what to do. Should she hang out with Emily and Derek, after all Emily still was her friend. Or should she let them have more "alone time". Her chest growled again. No, she wouldn't leave them alone again. She walked along side Emily talking to her. She felt a brush on her shoulders and looked to find Noel standing beside her. She smiled up at him, he gave her a huge grin back.

"Hey, we didn't get to talk much, how was your first day back?" Casey asked trying to forget the couple next to them.

"It would have been better if you were in some of my classes." Noel replied. Making Casey giggle. Maybe she could make herself like Noel. There was nothing wrong with him, well except… 'Except he isn't Derek' said the voice for way in the back of her head. 'Shut up!' she mentally yelled at it. She continued to talk to Noel, and watched as Emily and Derek wandered off somewhere. She sighed and looked at her watch.

"Hey, I'll see you at lunch." she said to him turning to leave.

"We have different lunch times." Just great, now she'll have to sit with Emily and Derek. At least she was friends with Sam and Ralph.

"Oh, well then see you later!" she said as the bell rang.

She ran off to her class. She sat down just as Mr. Clifford, her math teacher, walked in. She decided to sit in the front row. Sometimes it was hard to hear him since he always faced the black board when he talked. She was getting out a paper and pen to take notes with when a wade of paper hit her in the back of the head. Turning around so quickly that she almost fell out of her chair. She looked over the room for Derek, but he was know where to be seen. Instead she found Emily waving at her. She turned back around to read the note.

"Casey, I'm so glad your okay with us. I know you don't fully agree, but that's all I can ask for. Also notice, it looks like you and Noel are a little bit too comfy around each other. Lol. Derek's words not mind. I was think that maybe we could do a double date sort of thing tonight. If you wanted.

Emily."

Casey didn't know what to think. She didn't like Noel like that at all, but it would be fun to see Derek's reaction. She quickly wrote her reply and threw it back. Hitting some guy in the head. He turned around looking at her. 'Sorry' she mouthed and then Emily reached over and grabbed the paper off the guys desk.

Emily gave her the thumbs up sign and Casey smiled and turned around. She was ready for this day to be over already.

When she got home she called Noel to tell him about the date. Noel got a little too excited when he heard Casey say double date, but she didn't say anything about it. She went to the kitchen to tell her mom her plans. Then she went up stairs and study the little amount of notes she had taken. They still hadn't gotten very much homework being the second day back. She looked at the clock 6:15, giving her about 45 minutes before their double date. She figured taking another shower today wouldn't be necessary, after all it was just Noel. She decided to go with her black skirt, with her purple shirt and purple flats to match. Finishing up with her make-up and curling her hair. She looked at all sides of herself through the mirror. Thinking she was okay she went down stairs to watch some T.V. running into Derek on the way out.

"Where you just standing by my door?" she asked.

"No, I was making my way to the stairs when you so rudely bumped into me. Not everything revolves around you, Case." she hated when he said that, because clearly he thought it revolved around him instead.

When they got down stairs Derek said, "I didn't even know you and Noel were going out. He is such a loser" She hit him on the arm.

"No, he isn't" An idea popped in to Casey's head. "And we aren't dating just good friends." Derek rolled his eyes.

"So are we picking him up or is he coming over here first."

"Um, I think," the door bell rang and Casey opened the door to find Noel. "that he is coming over here." she giggled and welcomed him in. Minutes later the door bell rang again and Emily walked in.

"Hey guys you ready?" she asked. Casey looked at her outfit then looked at Emily's. Emily was wearing a cute dress that was a little to low cut, and heels. The old Emily wouldn't wear this. She just couldn't get over the change.

"Where are we going Em?" hoping she wasn't going to be to under dressed.

"Where ever Derek deiced" she said looking at him.

"You have got to be kidding me," Casey said under her breathe.

"Okay, then I'll surprise you." he gave a wink at Emily. He might have had Emily wandering where they were going to eat, but Casey knew it was going to be Smelly Nelly's.


End file.
